We have a law or idea we call the law of Kerr. This is based on my friend Randy Kerr. Randy's dad owns a huge company. Randy gets the company on the day he gets a general business diploma. Millions of dollars is his as long as he passes basic business classes. But he's so fucking dumb he can't get even get through basic business school. He's just useless says the dumbest things, Makes the worst decisions and generally makes your head hurt.
The law is this dumbass is of average intelligence in the world. Its not a testament to his smarts, but a testament to how stupid the world is
Stupid people piss me off. Its complicated and definitely for another post. But I've come to realize that these people congregate somewhere; your local Ikea!! Oh also I call these people the Tards
I had to go to Ikea yesterday to pick up 1 item. Here are my thoughts as I went in
- There's a line up of people dropping their kids off in the play area. The Tards talk about how great it is to have a play area for the kids, and I say good for Ikea for the idea. But the point is kids distract the Tards from the bright lights and shiny things Ikea throws at you to make your simple monkey brains go crazy with excitement at all the nice things you can buy that you don't need. Its simple: kids make you more reluctant to buy things because they bring down your mood. So throw the kids in a slave pen for a couple hours and you can browse all the shiny pieces of shit that Ikea throws at you for your impulse buying pleasure
- Have you ever seen a farm with the cows being led on a convener to the slaughter? Well Ikea has, and they modeled their floor based on that concept. You can't just GO to linens and buy some damn sheets. You need to walk through every fucking department at the store to get whatever you want, which subjects you to more bright lights and shiny things causing more impulse buying. That store leads us around like cattle through the slaughter house. Ohhh that looks nice, ohhh and that I love shopping at ikea I'm a Tard bright lights! shiny thing! ooohh ahhhhh *scratches armpit*
- When I go to a store I know exactly what I want to buy. Ikea is not made for me. The store is not made for people who research and plan their purchases. As I walked through the overly crowded group of Tards I noticed nobody actually knows what they were looking for. The were just looking aimlessly at everything. That tells me they don't actually need anything at Ikea. This might bug me the most. I keep a detailed spending budget. I track all my spending with Quicken and compare my budget to actual every month to see what I need to cut back on. Therefore, impulse buying a bedroom will never happen with me because it will kill my budget. I work out the money so I can afford it. Then I carefully plan what I want at home where I have no bright lights and shiny things, then I shop for price, then I go buy... See I'm not retarded, I know how to effectively spend my money. Everyone I see at the damn store clearly has not taken into consideration whether they really can afford it because they don't even know what they want. Hence impulse buying... hence retarded....
- The one I actually like is that Ikea has self serve check-out counters and NOBODY uses them!! I love that because, again I'm not retarded, and I know how to select English, put a pricing gun against a barcode, and click "credit card" under payment options. Difficult I know, but the Tards wait 20 minutes so that somebody can perform these "complicated" steps for them. God people are fucking dumb... like seriously!!!!
Its simple people go to Ikea without a plan, get flashed with lights, then buy a whole shitload of stuff they don't really need because it has funky Sweedish names and goofy pastel colours. Don't get me wrong Ikea can be a good buy. I've bought a love seat from Ikea and it's crazy comfortable. But I researched what I wanted for most comfort for the least price and analyzed my purchase carefully before going directly to the place and picking it up
Tards.....
One love
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