Does it need to be long to be good?

The post... Does it need to be long to be a good post? For fuck sakes get your mind out of the gutter!!

I'm really not sure what to write in this post. I wanted to describe my best date, but its too long, and hard, and there was too much grunting... We played squash... honestly we did? seriously get your mind out of the gutter!!

Anyways I went to see my aunts on the weekend, which really really makes me say I don't want to grow old and feeble. I don't ever want to be a burden depend on my family for basic necessities to the point where them seeing me is a drag on them.

My 2 aunts are in their late 80's early 90's. My aunt Adele has dementia, so if you come near her she will bite at you, and kick you and generally try to hurt you. She shovels food in her mouth like its her last meal, she needs to wear a diaper, and she will not speak to you. This is very far from the aunt Adele I used to know. She used to spend time in the summer, and when I got home from work I would take her for a walk in the sun and she would tell me stories about when she lived in Arizona and LA and the parties she went to and the cars she drove and the people she met, just awesome hilarious stories... So its so sad to see her there

My aunt Julliet I haven't been as close with. She's in ok health and her mind is still there. But she's taking care of her sister and it's a massive drain on her health and sanity, so she's suffering; and it's sad

Anyways we went to see them and its just so sad. All aunt Adele does is bang on the table demanding food, aunt Julliet yells at her to shut up, my grandmother starts crying, the house smells like old urine, the radio is blaring 24/7 music from the 1930's, none of the clocks work, the lights are always off... its just a despicable way to live...

Which made me come to a few conclusions

- The minute I start to lose my mind I'm going for a little drive, alone at night... off a cliff

- Being old is a miserable existence. You get NOTHING good, everything bad

- I'm going to tell people all my most messed up experiences when I get old so at least my stories will be entertaining

- I will be super nice to everyone who takes the time to come see me and I will always try to do something they find fun.

- If I can't get a car I will have a 40 of Jack Daniels and I will chug and chug and chug...

How ominous...