Saturday at the cottage

Now that I’ve managed to sabotage my own life with my antics on Friday I now feel like absolute shit on Saturday. I have a million questions running through my mind with no answers, a girl that won’t look at me anymore, and A LOT of apologizing to do

Luckily nobody saw what happened and it was between me and her.. for now… Also I need to see her soon and apologize and see if she hates me

Anyways Saturday was the beer Olympics, which is less fun then you would think.

We drafted for players and I had actually hoped I wouldn’t be drafted. Unfortunately I was drafted with Kramer as my team leader, this useless bum who was the last overall draft pick, and a girl who doesn’t know how to drink

Event 1 – Beeer Pong

This event is really my life in a nutshell. I’m better at beer pong then I will ever give myself credit for and won’t step up take the mantle and go because I’m so nervous about failure because I have to win. Kramer and the useless dude play the first game and lose.. badly

I play the second game with the sporty girl and we kick absolute ass. So you would think that I would volunteer to play game 3, but no I’m too chicken. Kramer and the useless dude get their ass kicked again, and then I’m forced to play the deciding game 4

So again, I flaunt my chicken shit routine and have the sporty girl shoot first. If you airball your partner loses their turn and she airballed 4 in a row, but I kept letting her throw first (I never airball ) and we lost. It was close, thanks to me but we lost. Done and done

Kramer gets pissed

Event 2 – Flip Cup

Ok in this game you chug a beer, put your cup on the edge of the table and flip it. We got murdered! Mostly because the sporty girl, as I previously alluded, can’t drink or play flip cup. We come in dead last

Event 4 – Tips

This is a really dumb game some of my buddies invented where you throw a Frisbee and one person tips it and the other catches it. The problem with it is the loopholes in the rules. If you make a bad throw, you get to rethrow with no penalty. So what everyone does when we play competitively is throw as badly as possible while still making it a legal throw because you can do it 1,000,000,000 times with no real penalty. So the tournament ended up being a Frisbee-throw-in-the-dirt contest which took like 3 hours. We won though because Kramer is really good at it, and I’m good at it and sporty girl is sporty

Again there’s nothing to explain tip catch, boring! I made a fantastic catch that got called back saying the Frisbee hit the ground (it didn’t I was the only one that could see it due to the hill) and I kinda got really pissed over a Frisbee catch, good for me!

Event 5 – Boat Race

Beer chug; you can’t go until the guy before you goes. Simple. We made it to the finals because Kramer and I can down quickly. But in the finals the useless guy was so drunk he couldn’t keep his beer in his hand and we lost. God he’s useless fucking last overall draft pick. Me and Kramer were pissed we thought we could have had it

Either way we came in a close 3rd but we were pretty pissed… beer Olympics done

That night we drank some more. Melora kept looking at me while she was in George’s arms… AWKWARD, bury my head in the fire. I also had this one buddy who was all over this ugly ugly chick… like dude, I know your gf, this is fucking awkward

Lastly, to end it off Jerry got in a fight with Newman and Jerry kicked Newman’s ass. It doesn’t help that Newman tried to leap onto a table and topped it falling on his face, or that he tried to fight me and tripped on a chair and landed on his face, or that he puked in the woods and tried to cuddle with a fuuuughly chick hahaha good times.

I just stared at Melora longingly and hated myself for most of the night. Ohhh shit I forgot Tim’s GF!

Ok so I was like the only one still awake and Tim’s gf was actually outside because her and Tim were fighting. So she starts talking to me about what’s going on with her, and we have a good conversation. She’s super chill because she laughs hysterically at any joke you make no matter how unfunny so it builds your self-esteem

Anyways we talked for apparently a very long time. Then Tim came out to smoke with our friends and gave me absolute cut eye. Her too.. I felt bad… but whatever we were just talking.

Then, to make things gayer Jerry wants to talk to Tim’s gf and asks me to leave… Asshole, fuck him… Whatever I crash for the night as the suns coming up

Crash at 5:30

What a fucked up weekend…
Next post… 2 summers ago, my perfect life happened and faded 2 summers ago

One Love