Grinds my gears (1)

I’m heading off to the cottage tomorrow and staying until Sunday. Therefore the blog will be out of commission for the rest of the week. So to all of nobody who reads it, you will be disappointed all week.

My favourite cartoon dad Peter Griffin had a short lived spot on his TV news network called “grinds my gears” which is where he just vented about stuff that bothered him. I thought I would try something like that in blog form, so here goes.

You know what really grinds my gears –

- People who have facebook or myspace as apps on their phones. Like FUCK YOU. Seriously fuck you, are you the dumbest person to walk this earth to pay extra money to get facebook on your phone? Is facebook so unbelievably important to you that you can wait the 15 fucking minutes between your computer at work and your computer at home that you HAVE to reply to a wall post? Or you took a picture of the sky and you HAVE to post it now you just can’t wait? Data plans are 50% dumb. Facebook plans are 100% dumb and you’re dumb I hope you get hit by a car posting LOL on your friends wall

- Credit card debt. Seriously, how dumb are you? Like don’t buy something on a credit card unless you have the cash or will get the cash by the end of the month. Like its that simple. Credit cards charge 18% or higher on your debt so don’t ever EVER not pay your bills on time. But no people amass debt on their card then whine and complain that they can’t pay it off. You bought something you can’t afford, credit card companies are greedy bastards for charging you 18% but you’re a dumb bastard for BUYING SOMETHING YOU CAN’T AFFORD!! Like how do you justify it?! “Derrrrrr I make $4,000 a month and spend $3,900 on needs, but I will buy a $5,000 pool table right now with my credit card”

- Monster SUV’s. You don’t go off-roading, you have 1 kid, you don’t need a Ford Expedition. Then again you probably can’t afford one now with all your credit card debt (see above)

- $8 moca-frapa-latte-chino-upsidedown-low-fat-caramel-Aztek from Starbucks. Literally it cost them $0.3 to make and they sold it to you for $8 PLUS the delightfully witty banter they give you, “How’s your day *fake smile fake smile* How’s work treating you? *fake laugh fake laugh* hahah you’re so funny. I’m your friend, no honest….” Which must be valued at $7 because that’s what you just paid for it. You know what those “baristas” remind me of. Strippers. You ever been to a strip club? They give you the exact same witty fake banter, but the difference is for $20 I get a lap dance AND nudity; you get 2 coffees and a fucking muffin

- Costume or themed parties. There is only 1 time during the year when you can wear a costume and its cool. Other then that you look like an idiot. Worse then that you are clearly acting like exclusionist assholes, which begs the question why did you go to a bar in the first place? Worse still is you take 9,000,000 pictures of yourself and post it on facebook. You know what’s even less funny then seeing a group of costume party people? Looking at pictures of costume party people posing awkwardly at a bar. For example...




I just... hate you all soo much... You look ridiculous... and I feel like I'd rather be alone in the world then be your friend... But I'm sure the feeling is mutual...


- Me… Who do I think I am? I must be the most negative, cynical man on planet earth I can’t stop being constantly frustrated by things that don’t affect me, then keeping an elitist mentality over what I perceive as different. If I was listening to me I would say that dude is a fucking douche. Ok ok new leaf next post is things that I love

One Love...